Just What Did Happen On Bonfire Night?
So there they all were, dead keen to have a firework party. They had phoned their friends. They were raiding the freezer for sausages and burgers. They were putting on boots and jackets ready to go and gather anything combustible for a bonfire. Steven just stood there and grinned inanely. When I fixed him with my most killer stare, he just looked sheepish and shrugged.
Big mistake! Fatal, in fact! Attempts to defend his actions would have helped or an argument in favour of a party, but no, just a shrug and his helpless- little- boy-lost face. It might have worked on his mother thirty years ago or on more naive girlfriends but I know this man inside out and helpless he is not!
I couldn't be bothered arguing with him. I couldn't be bothered explaining (again) why I do not like fireworks anywhere near my family or my home. I just turned on my heel and went out. I picked up my car keys, collected my handbag and left. The last thing I saw was Steve standing in the hall with his bottom jaw nearly on the carpet. The memory of it kept me chuckling all the way to my friend's house.
I stayed out about an hour and a half. It was 89 minutes too long. By the time I got back utter chaos had descended. The front door was open to the elements. Icy blasts were doing battle with the radiators and winning. The front garden was full of assorted children, some of whom I had never seen before. There wasn't an inch of space on any of the kitchen boards - they were stacked with bottles of Coke, paper plates with half-eaten burnt sausages and empty crisp
packets.
Dreading what I would find, I made my way quickly through to the back garden. Emily was standing with her nose pressed up against the patio doors. As soon as she heard me approach, she swung round and in a voice which sounded suspiciously like mine exclaimed,"You said we couldn't use the hose. You said there wasn't enough water and we mustn't waste it. But Daddy is putting water all over the garden. Tell him he musn't!"
Oh I told him alright!
Big mistake! Fatal, in fact! Attempts to defend his actions would have helped or an argument in favour of a party, but no, just a shrug and his helpless- little- boy-lost face. It might have worked on his mother thirty years ago or on more naive girlfriends but I know this man inside out and helpless he is not!
I couldn't be bothered arguing with him. I couldn't be bothered explaining (again) why I do not like fireworks anywhere near my family or my home. I just turned on my heel and went out. I picked up my car keys, collected my handbag and left. The last thing I saw was Steve standing in the hall with his bottom jaw nearly on the carpet. The memory of it kept me chuckling all the way to my friend's house.
I stayed out about an hour and a half. It was 89 minutes too long. By the time I got back utter chaos had descended. The front door was open to the elements. Icy blasts were doing battle with the radiators and winning. The front garden was full of assorted children, some of whom I had never seen before. There wasn't an inch of space on any of the kitchen boards - they were stacked with bottles of Coke, paper plates with half-eaten burnt sausages and empty crisp
packets.
Dreading what I would find, I made my way quickly through to the back garden. Emily was standing with her nose pressed up against the patio doors. As soon as she heard me approach, she swung round and in a voice which sounded suspiciously like mine exclaimed,"You said we couldn't use the hose. You said there wasn't enough water and we mustn't waste it. But Daddy is putting water all over the garden. Tell him he musn't!"
Oh I told him alright!
posted by Lisa Warner @ 12:47 PM
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